Indecision: A Novel by Kunkel Benjamin

Author:Kunkel, Benjamin [Kunkel, Benjamin]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2005-08-29T22:00:00+00:00

I had never said this last thing to her before and didn’t mean it in any binding sense. But in light of the morning’s whole Santa Claus–esque experience, plus being a little drunk, I wanted to strew kindnesses throughout the world. Sharply, strangely happy was how I felt (also patient, restless, and free) as I strolled back from the emailería along blue dusty streets, under the nearby rising moon.

However as soon as I returned to our room I had to confront the problem of happiness’s nontransmissibility—from which I imagine very happy people must really suffer terribly. Because there was Brigid stumbling back as she opened the door for me, and looking more or less miserable with her lipstick smudged and the mascara having run beneath her eyes.

“You wish Natasha were here. So do I!” She sat down hard on her bunk.

I tried to console her for her loss. “No, it does suck. Because Natasha’s just so great.”

“I know it.”

“A fine woman,” I said, although the whole concept of Natasha had come to seem a little vague. “So don’t think I’m not commiserating.”

“It’s a disappointment without her.”

“That’s right.” I wanted to emphasize this in order to seem to be paying less attention, or attention of a less lecherous kind, to Brigid herself in her shorts and little nighttime camisole. Next to the camisole, and presumably underneath it—except at the nipples, which would naturally be darker, though there was no predicting their size, much less their responsivity—Brigid had this nice pale olive skin that seemed touched with some old nostalgia for the sun. It was such nice skin that I looked away, and climbed up to my bunk. “Tomorrow Cuncalbamba?” I said.

She sighed. “Tomorrow again the bus.”

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